Battlefield 2 1.50 patch Invalid CD key crash.

If any of you lovely people out there are have the ball ache crash on trying to join a multiplayer server after the last patch then this solution worked perfectly for me.

Go to Start>Run> type ‘regedit’ and hit ‘Ok’
In regedit go to: HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE \ SOFTWARE \ Electronic Arts \ EA Games \ Battlefield2 \ ergc

Your Data may have only ‘x9392′ and that’s it. This is the reason why you have been having problems.
You need to right click and select ‘Modify’. In my case the CD key was there but not the ‘x9392′, so i entered that instead and bingo it worked!

Type in x9392 and then your CD key. NOTE: There are no hyphens and put on your caps lock.

example: x9392THECDKEYGOESHERE

 

This was on windows XP by the way.

Alien vs Predator hands on.

I was at the leeds Eurogamer expo this week and got to play some of the big upcoming titles including the new Alien vs Predator. Read my hands on here:

http://resolution-magazine.co.uk/content/hands-on-alien-vs-predator/

The terrible world of Jan Moir

In Jan Moir’s world every gay man will die of a drug overdose or some kinky sex game gone wrong. Every gay male couple will have threesomes every night and then probably try and kill each other. Jan must be terrified constantly that she will wake up to a world gone completely gay, wild orgies in public! The streets running with rivers of poppers!

By now you’ve probably heard about this bitter old crone’s article on the death of Stephen Gately but if you haven’t here it is for your reading displeasure.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1220756/A-strange-lonely-troubling-death–.html

Before we continue, lets look at what the article was originally titled shall we. Look at the ‘femail today’ section at the  right hand side of the picture. Oh no, you’re not getting away with it that easily you twats.

http://www.twitpic.com/lqchu

Its just appalling but you cant really expect anything less from The Daily Fail to be honest. This is the kind of woman who speaks before she thinks. She probably starts frothing at the mouth and works her self up into a frenzy while she writes what she would like to believe as opposed to the truth. She should go on Loose Women, she would fit right into the curtain twitching gossip mongering and wild unresearched knee jerk opinions about things they know nothing about, all over a lovely cup of tea.

She’s even a bit of a ghoulish character, although she thinks she isn’t when she quite clearly is;

‘Robbie, Amy, Kate, Whitney, Britney; we all know who they are. And we are not being ghoulish to anticipate, or to be mentally braced for, their bad end: a long night, a mysterious stranger, an odd set of circumstances that herald a sudden death’.

There she goes, slyly predicting other celebrities deaths, probably so she has something to write about. I doubt there’s much else in that vapid brain of hers.

This kind of journalism(if you can call it that) really pisses me off. How do people like this get such a loud voice in the media? Well all you Daily Mail readers, you only need look at yourselves.

Fuck you and fuck Jan Moir.

The knee that jerked

Today at 11.42am in some shithole in the UK, a Daily Mail readers knee jerked so fast it actually broke the speed of sound. Reports are still vague as to what article caused the phenomenal reaction, as when pressed the Daily mail reader, Bob Pointless 45, only had this to say ‘Well it was probably about immigrants or the gays or something like that, violent video games like Grand Theft Auto causing another massacre. I don’t really know as my knee generally jerks up to twenty five or thirty times a day. It could have been anything really, I never really understand what rational, unbiased  news articles are about and I get angry because of this, The Daily Mail takes a story, distorts it and then adds simple  keywords so that people like me can understand clearly what kind of hate it is that we need to be stirring up inside ourselves. The knee usually does its stuff after I’ve finished reading the article and taken it all in, which can take a while.

When asked if he reads any other newspapers Mr Pointless replied ‘No, well, my wife buys The Sun so I sometimes look at that so I guess I get a broad perspective on current events’.

The sonic boom generated by the knee jerk could be heard a mile away and resulted in a small shock wave that, amongst other damage, blew a framed picture of the Queen off the wall.

The Daily Scoundrel

Four of the Resolution crew(Including myself) have started a new pop culture site called ‘The Daily Scoundrel’ go have a look! Go now!

http://thedailyscoundrel.com/

Wolfenstein review

Check out my new article for Resolution here:

http://resolution-magazine.co.uk/content/review-wolfenstein/

Yep Wolfenstein is back once again!

The evolution of a hero.

Have a read of my new article over on Resolution.

http://resolution-magazine.co.uk/content/?p=1852

Do you agree or disagree?

Thief 2X: Shadows of the metal age

If you are a fan of the Thief games then I highly recommend this mod. I say mod but its pretty much an entirely new Thief game using the Thief 2 engine. A very impressive effort indeed, with full voice acting and new graphics. Its not exactly new but I don’t think its well known, I for one hadn’t even heard of it until recently.

Anyway, check it out. You can find it here:

http://www.thief2x.com/default2.asp

Gordon Brown in the Sims part 2

And so we return to Sunset valley and the complete mis-adventures of Gordon Brown.

After Tony Blair pisses off home, our hero decides to have a bit of a dance to celebrate:

The next day Gordon Brown heads into town to buy some more boring books about finance and possibly even a book about murder. He also goes to the grocery store and buys an egg. Afterwards he sees a political rivals car in the parking lot and goes round the back to scratch it with his keys. Unfortunately as our Gordon isn’t very good at stealth he gets collared by a local copper by the bins.

He cant even look at the officer, the shame is too much!

In a humiliation fuelled rage Gordon fucks off round the corner where he sees a meat head wearing an ‘I ‘heart’ Tony Blair’ t-shirt. Its all just too much and he snaps. Slapping the man in the face.

Jesus Christ…

Enraged, Gordon decides to visit the local library to try and calm down by trolling an internet forum.

It works and he decides to go to the beach for a BBQ cook-off contest.

Nobody talks to him, in fact everybody steers well clear of the miserable shit even though his hotdogs win the contest!

Lost in his own thoughts of despair, he tries a spot of night fishing. He doesn’t catch anything .

Then suddenly he spies a glinting from the corner of his eye. Its a chunk of raw silver! He quickly sprints to it before anyone else gets it.

That will add nicely to Gordon’s treasury.

Now then, I’d like to apologise for forgetting to take a few screen shots as I was too wrapped up in the game.

Gordon’s new political career has surprisingly been going rather well, working his way back up from polishing podiums to a full blown campaign to become the Mayor of Sunset Valley,he has also made a couple of acquaintances and invites them over for a campaign fund-raiser. he even invites Tony. The party gets off to a cracking start with everybody dancing around Gordon’s hovel like people possessed! Gordon even wears jeans!

Gordon and Tony start to ‘Get down’!

No idea who the child with extremely premature greying hair is, probably one of Tony’s ‘friends’.

Tony and Frank Oz do some bizarre dance that I cant even comprehend but blows my mind anyway.

All the guests and even Gordon have a fabulous time and donate a ton of cash to Gordon’s campaign fund. Overjoyed, Gordon goes to bed and sleeps soundly without the terrible nightmares for the first time in his life.

The next day Gordon is a changed man. Instead of wearing his trademark black suit he wears something a little more casual and even goes for a bike ride!

He’s so happy that later at the park, Gordon gets back to nature catching butterflies.

Things could really be looking up for Gordon Brown and for now his face is a little less the pallid grey colour of a month old rotting corpse.

Will Gordon Brown become mayor or Sunset valley? Will Gordon and Tony’s friendship dissolve into chaos again? Will Gordon find true love?

All these questions will be answered soon!…if I can be arsed.

My top ten terrifying nightime hallucinations.

10. A procession of snails moving across the windowsill.

9. A squirrel in the corner of the ceiling chattering away at me.

8. A strange grid of pulsing blue energy across the walls and the bed.

7. A swarm of bees trying to get under the bed covers.

6. A giant stick insect walking over the ceiling.

5. My girlfriends face melting.

4. The Witch.

3. A red light that scanned the room for anything moving and covered anything detected in a red substance that burned them to death. I distinctly remember even feeling a burning sensation on my skin(The red light turned out to be the standby light on the DVD player).

2. A giant spider prowling around on floor and then scurrying under the bed resulting in me jumping out of bed and looking around the room frantically for the arachnid. I also grabbed and threw the bed sheets off looking for it. Girlfriend was confused.

1. Hundreds of black tentacles coming out of the bed covers and writhing around in a grotesque pulsing mass. Like something H.P. Lovecraft would describe.

No idea what causes these, I don’t do drugs or anything like that apart from alcohol and the occasional cigarette. I don’t drink anything with caffeine in it either.

Hope i’m not going insane or something because that wouldnt be very nice would it?